Deep Truth · relationship to self

What being whole and complete means to me

What if we are complete and whole within ourselves and at the same time we feel complete by another person? 

I will explain how this can work. How one person can not complete us. It has to be a balance. There is no better half. It is not even fair to give that person all that responsibility. It’s a lot of weight to carry for one person.

It’s now said we must be complete and whole within ourselves first. Love ourselves first.

I believe we must love ourselves. I believe we must find acceptance within ourselves.

We do this so we can love and accept others. And find interdependence. 

But what if the other person who we love, does complete us? In a different way.

In a way that says: You make me so happy and feel so loved. And you support me and I trust in you. I see you. I love your soul, and when our souls touch, I feel complete in those moments. 

Maybe there are different kinds of completeness. One with ourselves, and one with another?

It is not okay to rely on someone to be our everything. 

We have to do that for ourselves. We have to know how to be our own, everything. And at the same time, have the ability to ask for help  because we, should not do everything on our own. 

Know thyself. Deeply. So you can share thyself and give of thyself.

Find your person to merge with to create the greatest love. The greatest connection.

Finding that person, would make anyone feel utterly complete. It would add to our already wholeness (and also imperfections) we embody within ourselves. We would feel so big and so powerful.

Maybe this is why great love, is so great. Because we have learnt to love ourselves, and when we merge with someone who loves us and honors us, and we them, the heart Chakra expands to exponential proportions. And we feel free. Free to dance. Free to manifest our dreams.

Freedom is being in love with someone who loves themselves, while loving ourselves.

Profound completeness is found in two souls who see and accept each other’s truth, and who see through each other’s insecurities and love them anyway. We hold them accountable to uphold their own completeness by staying whole and steady ourselves.

In no way do we stay whole all the time. When we are messy, the other person stays strong and gives space and honors and holds. This is called support.

We may not feel complete one day or for a week or for a year. Every one of us goes through dark nights. Maybe our partners, our friends, our family, are there to fill us up while we work on becoming whole again. We can not expect ourselves to be whole every day, or every moment. We do fall a part sometimes.

And in relationships, we can not expect that all is dandy every moment, when it isn’t. However, if one person is not whole, maybe the other person stays strong and stays whole until their partner reaches their full capacity again. And then that partner returns the favor. Partnership is a dance. Holding each other up. One being the stronger one sometimes, and the other falling into her or his arms. And then they take turns being that way. It can not just be one person who is whole the whole time. If you find yourself constantly battling with yourself and others and depression, which I have experienced, the relationship will fall to pieces. It will. You have to learn to take care of yourself. We all do. Be whole. You don’t have to be every day, but learn to up hold yourself, to reach out where you should. So that when the time comes, you can and have the strength to up hold your partner when it is needed.

It is the dance of balance, and support and being there and giving space for the ones we love.

Be whole, single. Feel okay being single and sleeping alone. I love the bed to myself and at the same time I crave that man to embrace my wholeness and I, his. In my bed, together. BE-ing whole together. I do feel whole within myself. And sometimes, I do not. And I fall a part, and that is when I call upon my besties and my family who love me. These people lift me up. We need these people. I find I used to hide from asking for support; I was not whole then. I would ask for help in destructive ways which was a call for help. Nonetheless, these past few years I have slowly learnt to just speak, because every time I do, I feel whole again. So speak. And now that I feel like complete within (not always and definitely not a perfect person), I can ask for help so I may reach my full capacity again.

Relationships are about lifting each other up, being truthful, honoring one another and loving thy flaws. I laugh as I write loving thy flaws, because sometimes our flaws are actually what make a person so amazing, and awesome and hilarious. Do love your flaws. Your craziness. Your badness. Uncover your fears and choose to love yourself wholly and completely. You don’t have to be every moment, for we are not perfect creatures. And you don’t have to like someone every moment either.

It is all a balance, is it not? Who is worth it to you? If someone, you’re in a relationship with is constantly falling apart and not taking action on themselves, how involved do you want to be? Don’t loose your completeness and whollyness because of someone who is not taking responsibility for their life. Always release these people with love and understanding. I have been the messy person. I have been that person who was not whole constantly in a battle with myself and it sucks when deep love ends (obviously), but it did propel me to become whole. So, sometimes loss is a good thing. And know these people will be okay. They’ll grow into their full capacity, by reaching in and being their own hero. You can’t save someone to be whole.

As a whole person, we have the capacity to love really REALLY big. Again, we can not be saviors. We may want too, but we have to let go where we need to so people can learn to fly on their own.

So you can find that person who is whole like you, and who is willing to do that dance of real and authentic support and conscious partnership.

These people are our friends, our family, and our lovers. It isn’t just the loveship, its all relationships. 

I have a hard time letting people go who hurt, because I have been the person let go while hurting and you know how that feels. I do, too. We all fall sometimes. And we must forgive those that have left us. And ourselves if we have been the one who left others.

And sometimes no one in the relationship has the space to support. Do you have the capacity within yourself, do you feel whole within yourself in that moment to help someone who is not whole. Sometimes we reach a point in a relationship where we are both falling a part, and no one can help anyone. This is a call for space. Space to be. To go within. To heal. To let go. 

You can always be a friend from a far while someone reaches wholeness.

You could send them love and whatever kind of feeling you are called to, to them.

While you take care of yourself. You can cut the cords so that you may be free, and so that old energy is cut and transcended to light and into love. So that when and if you become into a partnership again that new energy emerges. Not all relationships emerge again, and it is up to you to discern which ones you can be whole for, and if you trust they will be able to be whole for you when the time is needed.

This world is about helping others. But if you can not help them, then it is best to walk away. Or give space. Or let them know the truth of why.

It is time we realize this. To understand wholeness and completeness. And how helping others is essential; it’s all a balance. Truly. Sometimes we have to help ourselves first and sometimes we have to step outside ourselves, and help others. Use discernment, and always protect your energy. Helping others, helps us become whole. And helping ourselves, pushes us to see our truth. We have to see our truth to be whole. We have to accept our truth, and the truth of all of what you have experienced. And why you are where you are right now.

It is time we, as a collective, take care of thyself so we can take care of others, and to always discern how much energy you can actually give. Your wholeness can be taken, if you allow it. It is always up to you.

Things fall apart so parts of you can fall together. You loose your power so you can take it all back. Once and for all. You give all your wholeness away so that you realize that this is YOUR whollyness, not anyone’s to take. And it is up to you to decide how much to give and how much to take. Intuition holds the answers. Love is your guide. 

Stay grounded in your whole and complete self.It is a constant self nurturing of re aligning who we are, and being her or him. It is a flux and flow of self love and self realization. Knowing thy self and then loving those part of ourselves. Accepting, and forgiving the self. It is an ebb of releasing and healing the pain in your heart, and soul, so that you may be open and receptive to new love and the love around you and WITHIN YOU.

It is all within you. You, who is whole and complete as you are.

You just have to open your soul to that. All of it.

With Love,

Kara xo

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