Great emotional pain can do two things: make you fall into victim mode. Or it can push you to transform, transcend and heal. Either way. You learn. Either way you end up with the transformation. That is, if you see. If you allow. If you hear the messages. If you reflect on yourself and not blame others. If you go within. If you take ownership. If you take action.
Things keep happening to you because you aren’t listening. Listening to the guidance that is within you; your own heart and soul.
That guidance has told you “don’t do it”. And you do it anyway. You’re desperate so you do it. You feel there is no other way. You don’t trust.
I get it. I did that recently. I didn’t want to listen because I was feeling desperate in certain situations. On three occasions my gut had said no, and I pushed it all aside, even the logic side of it all, and I experienced great loss. All of it happened in the matter of 4 months.
Go back a year ago, I was given the guidance to not get involved with this man at that time, and I just wouldn’t listen because I really did not want to experience loneliness anymore; when I only ended up feeling more lonely. And then the dark night of the soul followed; it was excruciating.
Lessons. Great and profound lessons.
Intuition does not lie. It might not make sense. We all have free will to do whatever we wish; that does not mean we should do whatever we wish. Because not every want is for our highest good. There are those gut hunches and signs we feel, and the things that keep happening “for us” to see the signs and messages so that we may listen. Some people stick to suffering. Some people walk towards their true path, the resistant and scary path that we call the light. It wouldn’t be so scary, if we would just surrender to our purpose.
I am now listening. To others it may seem crazy. I am moving out of my fixed lease; I quit my job with a months notice; moving to a new city with no place or job in tact at the moment. I will find a job. And I will find a home. It will happen, because I will make it happen.
You may not understand a free spirit gypsy soul like me. Why would someone do this, with all that is going on; wouldn’t that hinder it all? No – it empowers me. I haven’t and I won’t waste any time on doing what needs to be done. And time will pass anyway. Nothing is going to stand in my way of creating the most magical life.
I should have done this in the first place. Moved to the city I am going too. It was one of my options 4 months ago. I had thought about the move and felt good about it. I choose the safest option, which ended up to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
Safety does not equal good choices. It does allow any space to thrive. It is just a box. There is no growth happening in a safe little box.
I shall forgive myself. This emotional pain I am experiencing is not debilitating. It is inspiring. I refuse to be sad. This emotional pain inspires me to be the happiest person I know. If I am to feel sadness because of loss, I will feel that. If I am to feel angry because of betrayal of myself, I will feel that. And then I will go back to stepping into my power as a woman and mother. And I will prevail like the mother fucking Queen that I am. Be a Queen. Or a King.
Ultimately, every situation we have been in, was a result of our choice. Yes others, should have and shouldn’t have. But we need to take responsibility for putting ourselves in a situation where you knew you were dealing with those who aren’t on the level of unconditional love. We know these people, and we blame them. You’re the one who gave them the gun. And now you are the one who needs to stay away from those who are so willing to take that gun and shoot you in the heart.
So when you don’t listen to the feelings of “you really shouldn’t do that”, forgive yourself. And move forward. With integrity and grace.
Emotional pain of trauma, breakups, abuse, loss, self suffering can all be transmuted to the light.It is not up to anyone else to make that happen for you. It’s up to you. If you wait on apologies, you’ll be waiting a lifetime. Once you take the step to heal yourself, you can begin to the listen more clearly to what you are guided to do on your journey.
So transmute it. First you must know why things have turned out the way they have. First you must know how you played a role in every situation in your life. Don’t drown your sorrows. Look into your sorrows. Your sorrows hold great messages. It wants to be taken care of, by you. You need to walk into your pain and you need to address it in your body. And you need to ask for assistance from the Divine to heal you. You can not do it alone. Doing anything alone, will cause you more suffering. When you allow others to help you, you help them by giving them a chance to be why they came here; which is to love. We just have to remember that some people have not pure intentions when it comes to helping you. We need to know who to let in and who to keep out of your process of healing and life. And you will know.
It all comes down to listening to your gut and how your body reacts when you are around certain people.
When you are about to do something, and everything inside you is screaming no – back the fuck out. You may be shamed. You may be judged. You may be called names. You may be hurt. And you might resist – don’t. When you listen to your own damn advice, it’s you taking care of you, and that is what matters. You are allowed to follow your own heart and soul and rightful path. It is for no one to say “yes you can do that”. It is not up for debate. If one does not support; do not speak with that person. Go on your happy little way and live your life.
Listen to your heart bro. If you don’t, your calling will follow you, And it will not stop speaking to you like an annoying relentless person, until you listen. Then it will be this beautiful and peaceful voice that really is just you hearing you.
I still resist. I am scared of my current decision but this decision I know is for my highest and greatest good. And frankly, for the greater good of all. That is something to consider also. The greater good of all. May we decide what will be best for everyone around us. We don’t do things because we want to please others, we do things because it feels right and if it feels right to you, then chances are, it is indeed for the greater good of all.
Every mistake, every disaster, every thing, teaches us something. We have all been through shit. We have all had our hearts torn apart, beaten on, chewed and spit out. We can become bitter and angry. Or we can take ownership and responsibility for the manifestations in our life.
It’s time to learn the deep lessons being presented to us. To unravel the wounds and make friends with our demons. To heal the unconscious ruling so that we may become conscious and self aware of every thing and everyone around us. It’s time to listen to our intuition to change, move cities or take the risk.
Have integrity, with yourself. It all starts with you. If you can make it work with you, you can make it work with anyone and anything.
What are your intentions in your decision making? How exactly do you see this unfolding? Is it for your highest good? Do you believe that others have changed in the situation you want to get involved in? Do you believe people around you have the best intentions for you, and will be able to love you in the way you deserve? Do you want that job, or is there a better job waiting? What are you motivated by? Why do you want to do what you want to do? Is it for the benefit of how it will make you feel or is it for the benefit of looking good? Are you trying to please others? Do you want people to pity you or to empower you – and how do you want to respond to others in their decision making?
Stop telling people what they should do and start telling them to listen to their inner guidance. It is there. Instead of spewing advice, start with “What do you truly feel you should do”? It is pretty simple, yet we think we hold the answers for everyone when we don’t know a damn thing. The projections take over and we give advice from a place of ‘what we would do’ without even considering the other persons stance and view. Answers are not found in others. Half the time we are pissed off we listened to everyone else and not ourselves. All the answers are in our heart space. OPEN your heart and you’ll feel it. And you’ll know.
The other side of the coin – Are these things in life – when we say no to intuition – supposed to happen so that we may learn and grow?
Life is funny.
Think for a moment: What the fuck is life to me? What the fuck do I want to do with it?
Maybe your intuition will have your answers.
And maybe. Just maybe, you’ll run with your intuition.